Alabamians Caricature Themselves

Today’s New York Times has an interesting article on southerners’ (particularly Alabamians) views of the presidential election and Barack Obama’s race (Via TPM):

“He’s neither-nor,” said Ricky Thompson, a pipe fitter who works at a factory north of Mobile, while standing in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart store just north of here. “He’s other. It’s in the Bible. Come as one. Don’t create other breeds.”

Here’s pipe fitter/biblical scholar Ricky Thompson:

And here’s a real knee-slapper from another Alabama shopper:

“He’s going to tear up the rose bushes and plant a watermelon patch,” said James Halsey, chuckling, while standing in the Wal-Mart parking lot with fellow workers in the environmental cleanup business.

Oh man, that’s funny.  See, blacks love watermelon, so if we put a black guy in the White House, he would get rid of the rose bushes and put in a watermelon patch so he could have watermelon all the time. That’s what makes James Halsey’s joke so incredibly funny. And you know who would probably really like that joke? James Halsey’s wife/13 year old first cousin. She’s a real jokester — if you believe what you read at truck stops.

Of course, Barack Obama was the president of the Harvard Law Review, and is now a United States Senator, his party’s nominee for president, and (if the polls are right) on the brink of becoming the 44th President of the United States.  Master race member James Halsey, by contrast, spends his time standing around making jokes in a Wal-Mart parking lot in a remote part of Alabama. 

Still, those blacks do love their watermelon.  That James Halsey is one funny guy.